I perused my last post quickly. The main thing that stuck out in my mind was "painting the stairwell". Seriously...it feels like that was half a year ago.

The new house is taking on a life of its own. It's beautiful. After every little thing we do to it, I always gush to my hubby "I've never owned anything so nice". I think less of it has to do with things being nice, but more of it being how much heart and soul we have put into the place.

So, stairwell? We have had the rug installed (that was one of those things we thought it would be more cost efficient for someone else to do), we installed the hardwood ourselves, I finished all the painting, we've almost finished putting together the kitchen, hubby has started on floor tiles, and almost all the light fixtures are up.

The only thing left in the basement to do are hanging doors, and putting baseboards and casings on. Oh wait, flooring in our "gym" has to be done yet, but that's just a roll out flooring. Oh, and linoleum and plumbing stuff in the basement bath. HA. Looks like there's still a few things to do down there.

Upstairs still has a lot left to do. We have the tiling to finish first. This next week I get to learn how to tile bathroom walls. Should be interesting since I've never done it. And I get to work with 3 different types of tiles! It's a bit intimidating doing things I don't know how to do, but the amount of self-confidence it can build is always good.

Tonight I have a skype date with a friend from the south and then while my hubby tiles our entrance, I will start on wallpapering part of our room. I really wasn't a wallpaper fan...until recently. Retro style seems to be back. And I surprised myself by loving it!

If there is anything decorating a house will teach you, it is simply about yourself. What you like, what you don't like. If you're a risk taker, or if you're not.

I discovered I'm a risk taker, who is terrified of the opinions of man. My hubby always says "go with your gut! You never disappoint!". He loves my style as it's a bit eccentric, but modern. I'm not afraid of colours, but I get nervous when the inlaws check out the progress on the house.

My favourite comment so far has been to the reaction of my harvest orange colour in the basement:

"you just need black baseboards and it would be like halloween".

Ouch. Smile. Nod. Laugh even. Shake it off.

Because we have designed and are decorating it from scratch, it's as if it's a piece of us. I have to remember not to be offended if someone doesn't like it. They are not insulting me, they are just disagreeing with my taste.

And that's ok.

My husband has loved everything I've done with it. From colour choices, to tile choices, to hardwood decisions and door designs. And I love everything I've done with it. I'm in love with the kitchen I designed (yay Ikea!), and I think my favourite room so far in the house is my daughter's room (huge window, girly chandelier and purple tones splashed on the walls).

While I thought I was much more secure in myself, having myself smeared all over that house and ripe for the picking felt way more vulnerable than I first assumed!

We have random people stop in to see the progress, and I admit, I hold my breath a little every time they stop in. "What if they don't like it?" or "What if they don't get it?" (because each room has been thought through from decor to design and without decor in there....well, it's not complete!).

I've discovered I'm more insecure than I thought!!

I know I used to be terribly insecure. Horribly, in fact. Actually pathetically. Thankfully, I've grown up a bit. But not as much as I thought! This house has been a good learning tool to myself as to how I react internally to other people's reactions.

In the end, while the house is a reflection of me (my hubby wants the house to scream "BONNIE" when you open the front door - he so delights in me!), people's opinions of it are not a reflection on how they feel about me.

In the end, I really want to love it. I want my hubby to love it, and I want my kids to love it.

In the end, I need to just be secure in me and leave it at that.

But as a side note....I've never owned anything so nice.