Glimpse of Heaven

As a Christian, I've found that mundane life crosses with hints of heaven weaving in and out of my life. I've found that while these little tidbits are refreshing, they certainly do not come around enough.

 I find I get tired. I get weary. I get exhausted. I lose the motivation to "fight the good fight" and to stay on the "narrow path". I never lose my faith in God. He is everlasting, All-Powerful, Alpha and Omega. He is I Am. That I don't falter in. What I do falter in, is the motivation to pursue the relationship with Him. It seems so silly and so...human. Here is a Being, a Spirit, THE GOD, and I am fickle enough to lose track of spending time, prayers, pursuit of Him and drift into the world of bills, and simply life.

 I've always had a hard time balancing both. How to put two threads of opposite, and yet undeniably intertwined pieces of life together in a way that moves harmonically and satisfying? Recently, my fire has been stirred for heaven and it's changed my perspective. Isn't that what Paul was talking about in Colossians 3:2? "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth". There is such purpose to this!

I was listening to several testimonies about people who have been taken on supernatural trips to heaven and was completely inspired. It's going to be so amazing!! In switching my thinking for one day, I was able to see people as a whole in a new light.

 Lately I've been more critical of people, of myself, and of life. It's been a busy couple years of blending families (my husband's and mine), working out all the stresses involved in that, starting a new business, quitting my job....and...well...the life that takes over everyone's time. Everyone has things to struggle through and things to push through. Not everyone can relate to my struggles as a new step-mom or dealings with an ex-wife, but everyone has a fire that they have been through (or are going through). After a while, those things take a toll if you're not spending time alone with the Lord. And I haven't. It's embarrassing to admit, but I haven't. I pray, and I spend time in church, and I pursue Godly relationships, but I haven't had "the time".

And so I slowly began getting more critical, more negative and more ungodly. I was listening to a woman who has been to heaven on several occasions and she stated that we can create 2 different kinds of pools with our words. Cesspools or living water. The Bible talks so much about this in so many places (ex "Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?” James 3:10, New King James Version) but for some reason it stuck out like a sore thumb yesterday. It must have meant I needed it! She talked about how the cesspool is created and how the demons play in it. I was horrified! Well now, if that's what I'm creating, I want no part of it. I was creating an amusement park for the enemy camp. I want no part of that.

 I think a lot of that is old patterns, old habits, and simply laziness. I was stuck in a pattern of complaining and once you start...it's hard to stop. I hadn't realized how critical I was of myself. My poor dear husband was unsure already of what to do. I whined about this and that. I pinched all my "areas of disgust" and was finding I didn't really have anything good to say about myself. Well if that's not evidence of a pretty fine cesspool forming around me, I don't know what is.

 So starting yesterday I began actually paying attention to the words coming out of my mouth. Starting even simply with myself. I'm very negative and quite mean to myself. My husband doesn't understand because he's positive I'm the hottest woman on the planet. I think he is crazy, but I'm very thankful I have a Godly man in my corner. He's my (very manly) cheerleader.

 So that's my newest struggle. But the thoughts of heaven suddenly minimized everything. That must be part of why we are supposed to think of these things. When I switched my focus, everything changed. The wonders of heaven, the wonders of God took over. I almost became childlike. I feel different, I look at people, and myself different.

 Heaven is going to be so good. And I need to remember that to remain childlike. Children are not naturally critical. They are in awe when you steal their nose, they oooh and ahhhhh at the rainbows, firecrackers and the mixture of baking soda and vinegar. It's who they are. I need to remember to build up good things, pools of clean and clear water, and create a childlike atmosphere to swim in. Maybe I will get a little taste of heaven while I'm here on earth.

 Delightful!